Carmel Ecker is a life coach and the creator of Single Parenting Made Simple, a coaching process and community designed to help single moms rise above their challenges to write a new, more empowering story for their future.
There are 5 simple steps to living a fulfilling life.
It’s not about making the “right” choices or following some standard formula for success.
No, these steps are all about knowing yourself, deciding what you want, knowing why you want it, and taking the action to get it.
Simple…but not always easy.
Of course, it’s a lot easier if someone shows you the steps and helps you follow them. I didn’t have that.
Instead, I spent about 15 of my adult years following the success formula that was modeled for me and when it all came crashing down, I spent another 10 years figuring out a better way.
I did all the right things. I got good grades in high school, went to university, found a stable job, met a nice guy, bought a house with him, got married, had a child… and then it all fell apart.
And I was left asking the question “What the hell am I supposed to do now?”
Sitting in my rented two-bedroom basement suite with my one-year-old, going through a divorce and trying to figure out what my next move was going to be, I felt lost.
What I didn’t know then was that my divorce would be the best thing that ever happened to me.
When we’re in the thick of it, it’s hard to believe that the challenging experiences we didn’t ask for will lead us to a better place.
In my case, getting divorced and becoming a single parent led me to my life purpose. Without that experience, I wouldn’t be, and life coach and I certainly wouldn’t be the person I am.
We are all forged in the fires of our experience. The main difference between whether we emerge changed or remain at the mercy of external forces is how we respond.
I learned, ever-so-slowly, to respond in five steps:
- Develop the mindset that you can create whatever you want in this world. The only limits are the ones you accept.
- Create a detailed vision for the future you want without worrying about how you’ll create it. Don’t let your logical brain get in the way of your dreams.
- Discover the deep motivating reason(s) why you want this future. Don’t accept your first answer on this one. Dig down a few layers. When you get emotional, you’ve probably found it.
- Decide what habits you’ll implement to create your ideal future. If you doubt this step at all, consider that I built the fitness to complete a 7-day, 350-km mountain bike race with little more training than a daily 30-minute bicycle commute to work.
- Commit to yourself that you’ll take the actions that will get you to the future you want.
Five simple steps that empower you to take control of your future, to shape it into whatever you want.
And you don’t have to spend 10 years figuring out how like I did. All you have to do is reach out and say, “I’m ready for change.”