Pursuit 365 Day 361: Maria DeCtiis

Maria DeCotiis is a fun-loving, high energy woman who knows what she wants, believes that anything is possible, and is always dreaming.

Growing up, I had two visions of my life; to be a successful businesswoman and to have a family. I wasn’t sure exactly what that meant – businesswoman – but I knew it would involve great shoes and running a company. I could feel it and see it so vividly, but I often felt like I was crazy to have such a dream. Maybe it was because there were people throughout my life that told me I wasn’t good enough. I was certainly different from others around me; I was louder, I said what I was thinking, and when I wanted something, I figured out a way to get it. As much as I tried to ignore the negative opinions, for a brief moment in my life, I allowed the opinions of others to derail my dreams, and the internal light I had was slowly dimming. By the age of twenty-eight, I was married with three beautiful boys. I had the family I had always wanted and chose to put my dreams of running an Interior Design firm aside because it felt easier – what if I failed? I was paralyzed with fear, fear of failing, but also fear of never achieving that vision I had. After reading what seems like a million self-help books and consuming endless podcasts, I had enough and chose to persevere. My positive energy returned, and I started dreaming again. I knew very little about running a company but the desire to realize my vision was enough, I taught myself what I needed to know. I made decisions that I knew were right even though I was scared. I am grateful for that time in my life because, without it, I would have never gone on a soul-searching journey. I became a better version of myself.

Everything changed when I received a simple gift on our anniversary, my first books on personal development. That was when my soul-searching journey began. I never realized how much I could learn about myself through these books, hearing stories that helped me navigate what I was going through. I was hooked on becoming the best version of myself. I realized how important it was not only for me but also for my children to be their role model and live what I was trying to teach them. It gave me the courage to start asking for what I want again, forgive those who hurt me, and dream again.

It wasn’t just about the books; it was me taking the time for myself and finding my way again and I continue to learn and grow and do things that I’ve always wanted to but was too scared of. I have learned we all have fear, it’s whether or not we choose to do it anyway.

Other people’s opinions of me are none of my business, a simple statement that took me years to understand. I love who I am, I am no longer hiding, I refuse to stop dreaming and while I still have fear I know that we all have fear. The difference is there are those that are willing to do it and those that are too scared to take the leap.

We all lose our way sometimes and if you do remember – be true to yourself, ask for what you want, and never stop dreaming.