Jacquie Stebbings is a Personal Life Coach and Facilitator.
“We don’t need you anymore.” When first hearing those five words, I unknowingly folded them into my self-identity.
I was thirty-six and my baby nine weeks. I had trained one of my staff. She would help during the new-born phase until I could return to the helm, running the day-to-day operations and guiding my team. My business partner and friend of ten years had a different vision. He hit me in the gut with those five words.
Full-time-at-home-mothering was never my plan. I had always imagined some version of running my company and motherhood. But with no longer a company to run, and a spouse who travelled for weeks at a time, our three young children pointed me to the obvious. So, I got busy mothering but with a wounded sense of my value whispering in my ear and the feeling niggling in the background that there was something more.
Moms know that while there are endless tasks and to-do’s, there are just as many hours of idle brain time. My brain looped around the question of self-worth. Looking back, I see earnest volunteer hours as an effort to prove I could do more than just meal-plan.
There’s a black and white baby photo of me lying in a pram, lifting my head to catch the eyes of the photographer. That baby would grow into a woman committed to knowing her inherent value beyond what she does for others or the income she creates. That baby would one day start teasing apart the gnarly knot of the value of being from the value of doing. Motherhood would trigger that quest.
Today I champion and coach women ready to take bold action for their own lives and happiness. Alongside all their doing for others is a sincere call for something else. For some, the focus is what’s next? For others, it’s life purpose or their need to fill their own cup and create strong, balanced relationships. Regardless of the pursuit, self-care supports their vision of what life could be. When a woman is freed from self-imposed boundaries and she moves to achievements only imagined, we all get to draw from her inspiration and power.
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