Photograph by David Fierro
Farzana Jaffer Jeraj is a best-selling author and motivational speaker with a focus on mindset, neuroscience, and meditation.
It has taken so much work to get to where I am today. Not just business-wise, but deep gritty self-work. After years of bullying, I never believed anyone would ever care to hear what I had to say. Every time I’m asked to speak my truth, I have to muster up courage, give myself a pep talk, and remember that ultimately it is being of service is all that matters. I worked to cultivate my personality, and then to cultivate a strength of self so that I don’t feel a need to be anything but myself. I have worked to define my values and beliefs to be in alignment with who I truly am. Not what my experiences and others might have told me I am.
…and yet it is in the moments of mindfulness where I sit in silence and listen to myself that I truly sense who I am.
Who are we as individuals? Are we a collection of the events of our lives? Are we our jobs? Are we a reflection of our social circle? Our daily habits? Our beliefs, thoughts, and emotions? Our challenges?
I don’t believe any of these things really make us who we are. Our challenges are as real as we perceive them to be, our emotions so powerful they warp our sense of time and reality. Challenges pass, thoughts come and go, and your beliefs and values can be changed by you in a heartbeat. Emotions are just chemicals and they truly can’t remain forever.
We exist beyond these things. It is the self that chooses. When you don’t feel like yourself, that is your self that reminds you of who you truly are. It is the same self that decides to wiggle your big toe that can choose what you believe and value at any given moment in your life.
Is there work involved. A thousand percent. Ultimately, I love my high heels and I love nature. I love meditation, the spiritual conversations around consciousness and existence; and I also love science and the material physical gifts of this world. None of those things are truly who I am.
You are not your past actions; you are the choices you make today. Events pass, emotions don’t last, you are always.