Deborah Lohrenz is the owner of 2Motiv8U, and an entrepreneur working as a Life/Career Coach, Human Resources Professional, and Professional Trainer/ Facilitator.
For years, I struggled with the meaning of success and my purpose in life. When I look back, my life ended before my teenage years; and I began living in my mid-40s. Abuse, in its many forms, happens, and when I became the object of my father’s sickness, my life became one of survival – a different form of living. Not only my day-to-day but also my moment-to-moment was figuring out how to stop this monster from “having his way” with me or destroying me, as he put it. I didn’t want this life, but when my father handed me a bottle of pills and said to me, “take these, the world would be better off without you because you are stupid, ugly, and a waste of a human,” I did – I was 16. Fortunately, my mom walked in and rushed me to the Emergency Room. After pumping my stomach, I heard a voice saying I was worth something and I needed to be strong! Although it took several more years, I finally moved out of that situation and house and moved on.
Well, that is what I thought. But I was wrong. I became obsessed with doing the “right thing” and “being good,” and still, I felt I was not living. I began working with victims and became a life coach, and still, I struggled. I listened to people telling me to move on and that I needed to forgive and forget and even write a letter to my dad saying I forgave him. I did write a letter! It didn’t work! When I realized forgetting would never happen, and forgiving didn’t take away the pain and memories, I decided to embrace who I was now and who I have become – on my terms!
I realized I like who I am and am proud of the person I became. My purpose in life is to help people – including myself. Even though the emotions still overwhelm me from time to time, I take a step back and take a hard look in the mirror and realize I survived! I achieved my success, living and loving my life, and I am proud of my accomplishments – personally, emotionally, and professionally!